tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64238156935836446052011-11-27T18:52:26.285-05:00<big>Fishing Humor</big><p>These are jokes we have heard from fellow anglers on the pier or surf, or emails from friends and blog readers. We don't know who wrote these, so there are no credits. Some are pretty good, and some are awful. But here they are. We hope you enjoy.</p>Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.comBlogger341100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-5367671652525147492008-04-08T09:08:00.000-04:002008-04-08T09:09:06.589-04:00

There was a priest that loved to stream fish. One year there was a problem every time he had a chance to go fishing the weather was bad or it was on Sunday, when he had to work. All year he was unable to go. Finally it was the last week before the streams closed. The weather was bad all week until Sunday, when the weather was great. The priest could not resist, he called a fellow priest

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-69760077511472670972008-04-08T09:04:00.001-04:002008-04-08T09:04:40.574-04:00

One time there was a salmon fisherman who was out in the ocean fishing and his boat sank. He was lucky enough to make to a deserted island. When the Coastguard found him, the leader noticed there was a fire pit with California Condor feathers. he went over to the fisherman and said, " You know, it's illegal to kill a California Condor, I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest you." the fisherman

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-69572140515840942142008-04-08T09:02:00.000-04:002008-04-08T09:03:07.735-04:00

A more-than-slightly intoxicated buzzard wanted to go ice fishing. As he began to cut a hole in the ice, a resonating voice from above came booming down, "There are no fish under the ice!". The ice fisher was slightly taken aback, but continued trying to cut a hole in the ice. Again, the voice came booming down,"There are no fish under the ice!". Now the fellow was getting a bit nervous, but

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-44578240298206311952008-04-08T08:56:00.003-04:002008-04-08T09:02:09.035-04:00

Give a man a fish and you can feed him for a day -- teach a man to fish and you can get rid of him for the weekend!I've spent most of my life fishing, the rest I just wasted.My wife told me that if I go fishing again she'll leave me. God, I'm going to miss her!Q: How much fishing equipment can a man have before his wife throws him out?A: I do not know for sure; however, I believe that the

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-88403971666205196732008-04-08T08:56:00.000-04:002008-04-08T08:57:06.602-04:00

I've spent most of my life fishing, the rest I just wasted.Give a man a fish and you can feed him for a day -- teach a man to fish and you can get rid of him for the weekend!

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-3199869893404397692008-02-11T20:53:00.001-05:002008-02-11T21:15:12.553-05:00

Two rednecks went on a fishing trip. They rented all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. I mean they spend a fortune.The first day they went fishing, but they didn't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-60626386353289016352008-02-11T20:47:00.000-05:002008-12-10T23:50:13.441-05:00

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-22392712022620326032008-02-11T20:41:00.000-05:002008-02-11T20:45:21.158-05:00

One time, there were two friends going ice fishing. They were sitting only a few feet apart. One boy noticed that while he was catching nothing the other boy kept catching fish after fish every time he put the worm in the water. So the first little boy asked the other boy, "What's your secret?" The other boy replied, "Ya moda meeh ma Mors merm!" the first little boy couldn't understand him and so

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-33189396051488409222008-02-11T20:35:00.000-05:002008-02-11T20:40:49.907-05:00

A guy returned from fishing one day and was approached by his wife: "Dear, the washing machine broke." The angler said: "Honey, call the repair man and have it fixed! I'm not the maytag guy."The next day upon returning home from another outing: "Dear, the TV is broke." The angler said: "Honey, I'm not a TV repairman. Call the repairman and have them fixed!"The third day: "Dear, the fridge doesn't

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-23726407078333743292008-02-11T20:22:00.000-05:002008-02-11T20:35:17.036-05:00

Johnny Bob says; "I have spent half of my life fishing. The rest was just wasted."Johnny Bob's wife says; "Give a man a fish and you can feed him for a day -- teach a man to fish and you can get rid of him for the weekend!"Q: How much fishing equipment can a man have before his wife throws him out?A: I do not know for sure; however, I believe that the experiment is almost complete!Ad in Outer

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-75176994022753858052008-01-31T00:07:00.000-05:002008-01-31T00:09:23.294-05:00

A woman goes into Wal-mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-mart associate standing there with dark glasses on. She asks, "Excuse me sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind, but if you drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-73146522683694094152008-01-31T00:04:00.000-05:002008-01-31T00:29:05.837-05:00

Four married guys go fishing. After an hour, the following conversation took place. First guy: " You have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out fishing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room in the house next weekend." Second guy: " that's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her a new deck for the pool." Third guy: " Man, you both have it

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-45182512361330067972008-01-30T23:58:00.000-05:002008-01-31T00:01:15.517-05:00

Three fishers were fishing when they came upon a mermaid, the mermaid offered them one wish each so the first fisher said: "double my I.Q" so the mermaid did it and to his surprise he started reciting shakespeare.Then the second fisher said: "triple my I.Q." and sure enough the mermaid did it and amazingly he started doing math problems he didn't know existed.The third fisher was so impressed he

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-40431921677460616262008-01-30T23:57:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:58:22.292-05:00

Three priests were fishing on a boat when they ran out of bait.The first priest got up and walk across the water to get some more bait.After 2 hours they ran out of bait again and the second priest said he would go get more bait...so he got up and walk across the water.After 3 hours of fishing they ran out of bait again and the third priest said he would get more bait. So he stepped out of the

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-74053290627430774002008-01-30T23:52:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:54:32.374-05:00

What did the fish say when it hit a wall ? DAM!

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-31919392921400766402008-01-30T23:49:00.000-05:002008-12-10T23:50:13.712-05:00

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-54371880297186929052008-01-30T23:45:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:46:31.265-05:00

A couple of young boys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track. All of a sudden, the Game Warden jumped out of the bushes.Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell. The Game Warden was hot on his heels.After about a half mile, the young man stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-91259581558813189642008-01-30T23:41:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:44:01.640-05:00

Effective February 1st, the California Highway Patrol and the CaliforniaDepartment of Fish and Game will be merged to form the new CaliforniaDepartment of Fish and CHiPs.

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-38303564106671601872008-01-30T23:39:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:41:18.459-05:00

A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a small boat.He noticed another man in a small boat open his tackle box and take out a mirror. Being curious the man rowed over and asked, "What is the mirror for?""That's my secret way to catch fish," said the other man. "Shine the mirror on the top of the water. The fish notice the spot of sun on the water above and they swim to the surface

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-40803979208259516882008-01-30T23:36:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:39:20.039-05:00

One Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs his dog and goes to the garage to hook up his boat to the truck and down to the driveway he goes Coming out of his garage the rain is pouring down: it is like a torrential downpour. There is snow and sleet mixed in with the rain. The wind is blowing at over 50mph.Minutes later he returns to

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-70966157081717903812008-01-30T23:33:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:36:09.395-05:00

While sport fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "are there any gators around here?!""Naw," the man hollered back, "Ain't been any for years!"Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming toward the shore. As he got closer

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-32867414905344735182008-01-30T23:29:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:32:53.863-05:00

Q: What do fishermen and hypochondriacs have in common?A: They don't really have to catch anything to be happy.

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-63230580620041280162008-01-30T23:28:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:29:18.302-05:00

A man was stopped by a game warden recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those fish?"The man replied to the game warden, "No, sir. These are my pet fish." "Pet fish?" the warden replied. "Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-68607454575204179002008-01-30T23:22:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:28:13.501-05:00

Two friends go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-11625847151367539412008-01-30T23:17:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:22:17.714-05:00

Earl tells his fishing buddies, "I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife ... best trade I ever made."

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-9472323851403587382008-01-30T23:14:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:17:34.666-05:00

Bubba and Billy Bob went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat instead of fishing from the shore. They rowed out a ways and started to fish. They caught one fish after the other.Bubba says to Billy Bob, "I wish we could mark this spot. It’s the best fishing I've seen since I was a boy."Billy Bob replied, "I got some chalk in my tackle box, so why don't I put an X right here on the bottom

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-15126536967642586712008-01-30T23:09:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:12:06.277-05:00

A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else. Whereas the other guys would only catch three or four fish a day, Sam would come in from the lake with a boat full of fish. Stringer after stringer was packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-90972500768269262792008-01-30T23:08:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:09:40.630-05:00

A boy was taking care of his baby sister while his parents went to town shopping. He decided to go fishing and he had to take her along."I'll never do that again!" he told his mother that evening. "I didn't catch a thing!""Oh, next time I'm sure she'll be quiet and not scare the fish away," his mother said.The boy said, "It wasn't that. She ate all the bait."

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-78731284689223818822008-01-30T23:01:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:06:37.127-05:00

Johnny had an awful day fishing on the lake, sitting in the blazing sun all day without catching a single one. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick four large ones out and throw them at me, will you?""Why do you want me to throw them at you?""Because I want to tell my wife that I caught them.""Okay, but I suggest that you take

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-24165390305422017152008-01-30T23:00:00.000-05:002008-01-30T23:01:33.542-05:00

Q. What is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?A. One is a bottom-dwelling, scum-sucking scavenger and the other is a fish!

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-18973986642579093752008-01-30T22:58:00.000-05:002008-01-30T22:59:46.156-05:00

A guy gets up really early in the morning to go ice fishing. He goes out onto the ice with his tent, his pick and his fishing rod, and starts to pick at the ice. Then he hears a big booming voice: "THERE'S NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"The guy looks around and then starts to pick at the ice again. Then he hears the voice again: "THERE'S NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"Now the guy is getting a little edgy. He looks

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-31651231449157721502008-01-30T22:56:00.000-05:002008-01-30T22:57:47.272-05:00

Two men have been sitting out on a lake all day long ice fishing. One has been having no luck at all, while the other has been pulling fish after fish out of his hole in the ice. The man having no luck finally leans over and asks the other what his secret is."mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm," is the reply."I'm sorry, what did you say?""mmmmm mmm mm mmm mmmm mmm mmm," the successful fisherman

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-69689505173151145872008-01-30T22:51:00.000-05:002008-01-30T22:55:59.831-05:00

A young boy came to Sunday School late.His teacher knew that he was usually very prompt and asked him if anything was wrong.The boy replied no, that he was going fishing but his dad told him that he needed to go to church.The teacher was very impressed and asked the boy if his dad had explained to him why it was more important to go to church than to go fishing?The boy replied, "Yes he did. Dad

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6423815693583644605.post-50856040916741584992008-01-30T22:49:00.000-05:002008-01-30T22:50:13.615-05:00

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses.""We don't have any." replied the first blonde."Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden."But officer," replied the second blonde, "

Johnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04917454966154363719noreply@blogger.com0